Earlier this October, my boyfriend (Jay), and our families met for the first time. It was an exciting moment, marking a pivotal step towards our future marriage and the blending of our wonderful families.

I remember being so nervous. If you ask me what we talked about, I don’t remember at all. Days leading up to it, I worried about the language barrier, the cultural differences, and whether both families would accept each other, and us! Yet despite my anxiety, the meeting went well! Conversations flowed in English and Hindi. It became clear that the differences didn’t matter. What mattered most was the happiness Jay and I share as we move forward together.

Ash Nair Inukoti shared a similar experience:

“The first meeting that we had was in Dallas because both of us are from there. We asked my parents from Houston and his parents from Austin to drive in with the intention of meeting. They had met on FaceTime before, but we set up a weekend in Dallas for the parents to meet, hang out, and get to know each other. It was Christmas time, so we did a lot of holiday activities that gave everyone something to do while they got to know each other”.

Nair Parents, Ash Nair Inukoti, Santosh Inukoti, Inukoti Parents

One of the most magical parts of getting married is gaining new family members. Marriage isn’t just about joining two individuals; it’s also about merging two families. This is why an initial family introduction is so important. It helps to ensure that both families get along, as they will be with you through all of life’s major events and milestones like moving, having children, and celebrating big birthdays and anniversaries. This initial introduction can set the tone for future gatherings and help smooth the way for introductions to extended family.

Ash and Santosh approached their meeting with excitement and readiness, seeing it as a natural next step in their relationship. Having both met each other’s families separately, they felt confident in the bond they were building.

“I definitely 100% believe it is important for families to meet before the wedding. It gave our families an understanding of how they ran separately because, at the end of the day, his family is still very different from mine. But through that time together, it became a cordial relationship… there is a lot of respect between them now.”

Deepti Prasad Gandhi also found that multiple family meetings helped ease the transition.

“I definitely feel like [a family meeting] was beneficial! The first time was a little nerve-wracking; you could tell everyone was a bit nervous to meet each other, but they all warmed up quickly. They met many times before we were engaged, which I felt made everything smoother once we were engaged because they were already comfortable with each other.”

Mrs. Gandhi and Mrs. Prasad

Family meetings also offer a beautiful opportunity to reminisce and reflect. Through these conversations, each family gains a sense of who your partner was before you both met. You can learn so much about your partner’s upbringing and family dynamics during these moments as well.

Mr. Hathaway, Asher Hathaway, Marcela Garcia Hathaway, Hathaway Parents

Photo by Pictures with Ariel

If you are Indian (like me) and are further along in your engagement or marriage process, you might also discuss auspicious dates and rituals that each family expects to be completed. This is a great time to talk about traditions, expectations, and cultural nuances. Just remember to keep the conversation light! You don’t want to start any battles too early.

Bounds Family, Clayton Bounds, Ariel Sheil Bounds, Sheil Family

Photo by San angel Photography

Of course, disagreements between families during wedding planning is inevitable, so it’s wise to pick your battles carefully. However, a family meeting can help ease some of these tensions that might arise later. It gives you the chance to discuss your future as a couple, from vacations to home projects to thoughts on starting a family. If you envision family members living with you in the future, this is a good time to bring that topic up as well. Sharing feelings and thoughts about the future is essential for creating a happy and harmonious household.

Ultimately, whether formal or casual, a family meeting is a significant step in bringing two families together. Hopefully, it will lead to the creation of a support system that enriches the journey that you and your partner are about to embark on!