My grandmother has dementia. Right now, she still recognizes me, but her memory fades quickly, and she often shows little to no emotion. I always imagined what my wedding day would be like, and in those dreams, she was always a central figure- smiling, laughing, and sharing in the joy. While I know that she may not be present on that day (mentally or otherwise) it’s still hard for me to picture it without her.

Photo by Love and Light Wedding Planning

I know I am not alone in this. Many couples have lost loved ones they always imagined would be part of their special day. Throughout my time working in weddings, I’ve witnessed some truly beautiful ways to honor and remember those who are no longer with us. Here are a few of my favorite ideas for keeping their memory alive.

One meaningful way to honor a loved one is by reserving a seat for them in the front row. A “memory chair” keeps their memory alive by showing that they still hold a special place in your heart and at your wedding. You can also adorn the chair with photos, flowers, signs or even angel wings. Creating a special seat for them can bring you comfort and even make it feel as if they are present throughout, watching you as you walk down the aisle and exchange your vows.

Photo by Love and Light Wedding Planning

Photo by Raven Shutley Studios

Another heartfelt way to recognize them is by creating a photo display or shadow boxes. This tribute can be placed on a table at the entrance of your venue, at the end of your aisle or even near the edge of your mandap. Adding a sign with a message like “In loving memory of those who are forever in our hearts” or “We know you’d be here today if heaven wasn’t so far away” can add even more meaning. You might also consider placing a candle to burn in their memory, symbolizing their presence on your special day.

Photo by Love and Light Wedding Planning

Photos by Andres Lopez Films

If a photo table does not quite fit your style, there are other creative options. You could hang string lights and clip photos of your loved ones in between the lights. This will add a warm and sentimental touch to any space. You could also print a photo collage on a poster board and display them on a stand. For a unique twist, you could hang ornaments featuring their images from a tree, even if it is not quite the holiday season yet.

If you want to keep your loved one close to your heart, consider placing a photo or a cherished item of theirs in your bridal bouquet or in the pocket of your suit jacket- there’s something special about a “pocket hug”. You could also sew a patch on the inside of your outfit for a subtle, personal touch. If you are into jewelry, wearing a necklace with their birthstone is a beautiful way to carry their memory with you throughout the day.

Photos by Andres Lopez Films

During your ceremony or reception, you could dedicate a moment to honor your loved one. This could be a moment of silence, a montage or memories or even having a song played just for them.

Another yummy take would be serving a special dessert in their memory. It could be a dessert you once made together or simply one of their favorite things to eat. This sweet gesture is a heartfelt way to include their memory in your celebration.

Following an edible way to remember loved ones is by raising a toast in their honor. In certain traditions, it is a respected practice to drink in memory of those who have passed. Even just pouring out a drink can represent the significance of the relationship as well as the good memories of the person. I recommend this one if your family enjoys a good drink. While my own family doesn’t drink alcohol, so this wouldn’t be suitable for remembering my grandmother, however my boyfriend’s family does, so it might be a fitting tribute for them.

If you want something more interactive, you could release balloons, lanterns, or even butterflies in memory of loved ones. Just be sure to check with your venue beforehand to ensure they allow release items on their property.

There are numerous ways to honor lost loved ones at your wedding. Ultimately, choose what feels right and unique to you. Instead of focusing on their absence, celebrate the happy memories and your love for each other as if they were with you throughout your day. Embrace their spirit and keep their memory alive in a way that feels personal and special.